Soooo you want a room tonight... well be nice to me.

I just want to vent a bit... not so much fume.. but you know. I won't use many bad words.

So if you go into a hotel and want a room. Be nice to the front desk. You just might get a lower rate. Be a jerk... get a higher rate. Simple.

A man comes in and doesn't want one of my outside rooms. All but 4 of my rooms are on the outside. The 4 inside rooms are suits. He wanted me to give him one of them for just a few bucks more than my other rooms cost. Acting like I should just do it so he will stay with me. Move it along buddy. Later that night... I sold one room full price and a Platinum member got upgraded to the other.

One dude called asking if I'd cut our rate by HALF because he wasn't coming in until 11p and would be leaving before 8am. That's still all night and breakfast in the morning. So sorry.. not happening. "I guess we will just stay somewhere else" ... "Well good luck with that. I hope the hourly motel is nice".

Next folks. Locals. Sorry we only take Major credit cards from locals, unless your insurance company is paying for it. Sorry... the $100.00 deposit does not cover the crazy damage you folks cause. Byebye.

And the the icing on the cake. Dude calls up ask me if we take credit cards over the phone. "Yes, that is how we reserve our rooms with a credit card over the phone" Then I lost connection with him and his cell. (ok.. honestly.. I hit the button my mistake and hung up on him.. but shhhhh... )
A bit later his wife calls.

Me: "Yes, we take credit cards over the phone to reserve the room, however I'm currently busy at the moment with a guest can you call 1800(reservation line) and make the reservation"

Her: I don't have a computer, so just call me back.

Me: It is a phone number. You call it.

Her: I don't have my computer. I can't use it.

Me: You call it... with a Phone.

Her: oh

Me: Yeah, Oh.

A bit later dude comes in. "So you take credit cards over the phone? My wife made the reservation. The lady at the other hotel told me they won't take credit cards over the phone. She was a real bitch"

Ok First off. Robin is a sweet heart. 2nd.. umm... we make reservations with credit cards over the phone, but we have to have the credit card or at least a fax of it front and back to insure you are the owner of said card.

So now he is getting bitchy at me. I tell him he can scan it and email it to me if he can't get to a fax machine. Nope. He hands me his cell phone to talk to his wife. She bitches me out.. Hellooooo... She tells met he guy at the reservation line told her it would be fine. I tell her that I can't do it.

I finally talk them into using their Points to pay for the room. I don't really need a credit card for that. 15,000 points and you have yourself a free room.

For all I know that could have been Bob Doles credit card. Not worth my ass over.

Needless to say I was ready to get home tonight and had a head ache. The night could have been worse like last night when half the hotel didn't have water, and no one thought it would be nice to let me know. That was a fun 4 hours.

A story about Poop

One morning when I got to work there was a note on the desk:

Brad _____ __________________ Guest that POOPED on our sheets & pillows. Do Not Rent!

So naturally I had to get the story on this one.

He checked in and made a big deal about him being the only one that was going to be in the room. But when housekeeping went in the next day poo was smeared every where along with condoms.

And while he was here he complained about things and got a discounted rate, extra Club points and then called the customer care folks to complain that he didn't get enough free points for a free night.

My co worker was kind enough to not explain what dude had done to the room, while I would have said "you know what that fool did?"

Real Vs. Fake

One busy night we had a house full of old golfers and young girls that play soccer.

At the last moment we had people walk in for the meeting room. A bridal shower. The Pure Romance lady was here first. Then the lady in charge came in and was a very unpleasant demanding troll. The room was set up the way she asked, but I guess she changed her mind. Wanted me to move stuff out of the room... umm no.

Then what do you know but a male stripper comes in! They were screaming and acting like fools.

I guess the stripper was so wild that the Pure Romance lady left the room and didn't go back until he was done. The guard was kinda taken back when he walked in. I didn't know at that point there was a man removing his clothing, and I felt kinda bad for sending in an unsuspecting man.  I was then blessed with the women in the lobby talking about how now their undies were soaked in bodily fluids.

Keep the strippers at home.

Take care of your old folks people!

Yesterday I had an old man come in. He seemed pretty lucid but just mean. He was talking to me and was willing to pay the deposit and his room charge up front. Things changed when I asked for his ID. He got pissed off at me and stormed out.

Well I'm not 100% that it was the same guy that came back after 11pm for a room, but we think it was. He was confused and lost. Turns out he was already checked into the Best Western with all his things there, but forgot he was there. He told the night auditor that he forgot his meds there. She called over and they told her he was still checked in. The security guy escorted him back the the Best Western. He had checked into at least 6 hotels in the area. One person knew him at another hotel. They said he is homeless because his family doesn't want to take care of him.

The security guy called the police, but they were no help. Someone should have called social services. This man shouldn't be wondering the streets from hotel to hotel (driving) spending all his cash at each one.

Not all nights are bad

Tonight is a busy night, we are going to sell out. I have one room left to sell.

I've had my regulars in here, and a guy that has moved over to our hotel from another down the road. I know him from when I worked over there. He likes to talk... We will just leave it at that.

I got a $10 tip from a guest tonight. I shared some cherry pie with his wife as she sat in the lobby waiting for him to get off work.

One of my regulars has promised me a gift for playing musical rooms and getting him near where he wanted to be. I won't be holding my breath.

I'm tired. My dinner of pita chips and hummus wasn't enough, I slammed my knee on the office door, and spilled my milk all over my pants. Every time I got settled in the office to pump breast milk someone came to the desk. I have just over an hour before I get to leave. Lets see if I can stay awake.

Employees Only!

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I don't give a flying fig newton if your bags are back there. We were nice enough to hold them for you after you checked out, but that does not mean you can just help yourself into my back room behind the front desk to get them!
I wish I could have gotten back there to lock the door between her trips back there. And the woman left the door standing open. I wonder if she helps herself in the kitchen at Burger King as well. I can't stand ditsy bitches that act like they can do whatever.

Do not flush

We still have a few smoking rooms left at our hotel. I'm counting down the days for us to go 100% smoke free. Sorry smokers, you are a pain to have.

Today's smoker has clogged their toilet by flushing cigarette butts. Really? Do you do this at home?

Tip for those staying at a hotel. Don't do anything you wouldn't do at home, and if you choose to be stupid at least give tips to those that have to fix your screw ups.

Now I'm waiting to see if they want to change rooms. I'm not calling the maintenance man in to fix something like this. We are beyond the plunger stage as far as clogs go.