Do you ever wonder how some people have survived so long?

We had an older couple in last night. They were calling or coming by the front desk every 10 minutes asking how to do something or for something.

When I checked them in, the woman pulled out a list of restaurants. I got out a map, and she highlights each one. I show her where they are and how to get to them. It is a pretty good map of the downtown area the city has given us. Keep in mind our downtown is maybe 2 miles by 2 miles and only 4 one way streets.

They get to their room and call down for a light bulb. That's fine. I take them a light bulb. Before I can get out of the lobby, I hear the phone ring. The GM answered it. I get to their room and they have the door open. She then ask for 2 more top sheets.

I go back down stairs and the GM is leaving message for housekeeping to let them know that 204 will have two extra top sheets. I get out the only two sheets I have, and I take them too the room.

When I take the sheets to them, the husband is out of his room trying to unlock their car for his wife. She is standing in the parking lot doing pirouettes of confusion while he clicks away. I really start worry about them at this point.

They wonder back through the lobby and she stands behind the guest I'm checking in and starts asking me about the Gym attached to our hotel. We have an agreement with them that our guest can use them for free. I've already explained all of this to them when I checked them in.

It was a Monday night, so non stop people. 204 called back down asking how to use the internet. I am surprised by how many people don't know how to search for wireless networks on their computers. Choose what ever network has the most signal and is unsecured! How simple?

Before my GM can walk away from the desk the woman calls down asking if we had her map. No, we sure don't. 

The woman comes back down and gives me a bottom sheet. Oops. That was all I had in the lobby. I tell her I'll have to go back to housekeeping to get her one when I get a chance. 

My GM runs out as fast as she can and goes home. I don't blame her.

The woman wonders back into the lobby with her ice bucket. I tell her where the ice machine is. People never look at their maps to see where the ice machine is. She tells me to just keep the sheet at the desk because she is going to go take a nap. She wonders around the lobby. She comes back to the desk and asked me about the Gym again. Then she wonders to the house phone that doesn't work. I tell her it doesn't work, but she keeps trying. She finally asked me if she could call her husband from it. I offer her the desk phone and dial her room. She then tells her husband that she is going to the gym. She still has her ice bucket in her hand.

I finally get a chance to go back to house keeping and get their extra sheet. We already have 2 top sheets on the beds with the duvet.

I call their room but they don't answer.

The husband shows up for the sheet and asked me how people who bring their own computers print. This is the first time they brought their own lap top on a trip. I tell him if he had a thumb drive he can plug it into the lobby computer or he could email it to himself and print it off that way. I then had to explain how to email yourself.

Then they come back to the desk with the list of restaurants and for another map. I go through the whole thing with them again. Very simple place to get too.

When they got back to the hotel she said they couldn't find what they were looking for but found another place. She brought me their information booklet. Nice, thanks.

The husband comes back down to get the room key while she is talking to me. I gave them 2 keys by the way.

The wife goes to the lobby computer. She then comes back asking how to get to Hotmail. I go over and type it in the browser for her. She asked me "how did you do that? Did you just type it over it?" I them educate her on how to type in a web address.

It isn't long before she is back. This time she can't get anything to print.
I go over and check everything. She tells me that she has hit print a few times. I'm hoping at this point it doesn't print out 10 copies. Turns out the printer wasn't on. You know why the printer wasn't on? She turned it off trying to get it to print.

I turn it on and wait to make sure it doesn't start printing on it's own. I printed it for her. There was a guest waiting on the computer behind her. He had a look of "are you kidding me?" on his face. I do think he understood my pain.

She had her ice bucket with her this whole time. I'm not sure if she went back to her room or what, but she kept carrying that thing around like a child does a blankie. 

Thankfully they went back too their room, and didn't come back down for the rest of the night. The look on this woman's face was of total confusion and as if she was dumbfounded by everything.