Yes, I double as a GPS.

For some reason folks seem to believe I'm awesome. Yes, I know I'm awesome, but I do have my limits. It saddens me too. I wish I could be told a random address and be able to navigate you there perfectly and with out any confusion on your part (or mine). If I could top it of with a Star Wars type 3D hologram that took you turn by turn, I totally would!

When you live in a city that address are 345 3rd St Ln NE or 345 3rd St Pl NE or 345 3rd St Dr NE or 3rd St Ln NW or 345 3rd St Pl NW... and so on for all NE, NW, SE, SW, finding your way around can be a tad bit challenging. 

I don't know what Restaurant that sits at 345 3rd whatever, and when you come to me and ask me this don't be surprised if I can't tell you the name of it. By the way, who told you the address of said restaurant, but couldn't tell you the name of it?


Then they look at me with the puppy dog tilted head "Aren't you from here?" No, I'm not, but I've lived here for enough years to know where I am. I assure you that you wouldn't be able to find a local able to help you out with out pulling out a map and cussing profusely for at least 10 minutes. GPS, Google Maps, and Map Quest all hate our city. They will send you to the other end of town that is SW when you put in SE. If you find yourself at a Motel that has it's front covered in the fake rock underpinning, don't get out of your car. Try to make your way out of the parking lot with out drawing any attention to yourself.


Don't get mad at me when GPS or Google gets you lost. When you called asking for our address, I told you how to get here. I told you that your GPS might not get you here and put you in the scary part of town. I warned you, but you chose to rely on Mayhem.