We all have them. We get to know them and sometimes we meet up with them over coffee or lunch. We talk on the phone, and text back and forth all day about stupid stuff like old men passing us in the pharmacy line.
I'm talking about online friends.
But for those of us that do choose to meet them in person, normally don't go into it blind. We know their real names (or at least the ones they make up to lead us on.) And we choose to meet somewhere public. Where there are people around to witness should Raven wants to practice her DIY Vasectomy techniques, or they turn out to be some creepy guy obsessed with lotion.
Tonight, this punk looking kid comes in the front door. He kinda reminds me of a friend that used to sit on his computer playing WOW all day. He and his friends thought a party was packing up your desk top computer and going to a friends house, so you and 5 other people can sit in the same room playing WOW. The best quote from this friend was "WOW is like real life. It's a new adventure everyday!"
So in comes this guy. I'd say early 20s if even that old. Wearing over sized pants for his straight lined waist and hips and a long stretched out black wife beater. He had a smooth face, so he mush have shaved, or hasn't yet gotten the gift of hair on his face, or chest for that matter. He looks like the guy that spends too much time in his mom's basement playing WOW or the old NES system.
He asked me where a room was. I found it hard to contain my look of "oh my god this is some kind of joke right?" I ask him for the name of the person in the room. Maybe he was at the wrong hotel? I didn't want to send him to someone's room after dark. He didn't know the name of the person he was looking for. Again... fighting the raised eyebrow of "you are a moron," while he scrolls through his phone looking for the guy's name. So I then call the room and ask the kid his name. He tells me his name but then says "He probably will know me by my screen name." This time I know I couldn't hold back the "this is too funny!" look.
I gave him directions, and he fumbled with his cheap smokes and other random things he was carrying. I hope he realizes the room is non-smoking. I kinda feel sorry for housekeeping on this one. What if the screen name he was referring too is from an adult site? We don't need any more poo covered hotel rooms anytime soon.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Poor babies will have to walk.
We had been getting reports that the big white trucks had been slamming their doors into other cars. We couldn't prove who it was, as we have 3-4 groups here at any given time with big white work trucks. They are the kind with all the lock boxes on the back.
One of the groups comes to me the other night to tell me that their supervisor witnessed one of the trucks back into a car and drive off. He watched it to make sure it wasn't one of his guys.
After this, I told all the people with the trucks to stop parking in front of their rooms. We have a gravel lot they can park in and a larger lot that isn't as tight or as busy.
Needless to say the company we are sure is doing the damage threw a huge fit. They started with the "we have 10 rooms for 2 months" blah blah blah song and dance. They belly ached about having to carry their equipment to their rooms, how they don't like the other cars hitting their truck, so they shouldn't be allowed to park there either, and that this was ridiculous.
I had one man after he had been drinking come back to the desk to tell on all the people with big trucks still parked where we asked them not to, and how someone was cooking with a gas grill and it smelled like they were cooking meth. By the time he stopped telling me all about his job, what they did and left the desk I couldn't find anything wrong.
They are so spoiled to us having outside rooms that they can just pull up to. They also thought this meant they got a discount on their rooms. HA! Not happening. They are not even paying for their rooms, their company is. I'm sure their company would love for us to call and tell them about this. I mean you've been causing damaging to any car that is parked near you! They are out of here in a couple of weeks.
The other 3 companies that stay with us and use these kind of trucks have never had a complaint on them before. I'm talking stayed with us for years and never hit other cars. It is this new group causing us grief.
One of the groups comes to me the other night to tell me that their supervisor witnessed one of the trucks back into a car and drive off. He watched it to make sure it wasn't one of his guys.
After this, I told all the people with the trucks to stop parking in front of their rooms. We have a gravel lot they can park in and a larger lot that isn't as tight or as busy.
Needless to say the company we are sure is doing the damage threw a huge fit. They started with the "we have 10 rooms for 2 months" blah blah blah song and dance. They belly ached about having to carry their equipment to their rooms, how they don't like the other cars hitting their truck, so they shouldn't be allowed to park there either, and that this was ridiculous.
I had one man after he had been drinking come back to the desk to tell on all the people with big trucks still parked where we asked them not to, and how someone was cooking with a gas grill and it smelled like they were cooking meth. By the time he stopped telling me all about his job, what they did and left the desk I couldn't find anything wrong.
They are so spoiled to us having outside rooms that they can just pull up to. They also thought this meant they got a discount on their rooms. HA! Not happening. They are not even paying for their rooms, their company is. I'm sure their company would love for us to call and tell them about this. I mean you've been causing damaging to any car that is parked near you! They are out of here in a couple of weeks.
The other 3 companies that stay with us and use these kind of trucks have never had a complaint on them before. I'm talking stayed with us for years and never hit other cars. It is this new group causing us grief.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Make Believe Rooms
I hate them. Make Believe rooms are the rooms they book when they just book a room but not a room type.
I had a guest come in last night with two booked, but had in the traces that he wanted both rooms to be smoking. We only have a handful of smoking rooms, and we keep those for our regulars that smoke.
He was getting pissy with us that he wanted smoking and he put that in his comments when he made the reservations. I had to tell him over and over again that he didn't book a smoking room, and we don't have any smoking rooms to give him. Then he tells me, "What are comments good for then?" Well if there had been a smoking room available when you made the reservation then you could have booked a smoking room.
He goes on to argue that he made the reservation last week and blah blah blah. Well our smoking rooms are booked every week by our regular guest tough luck.
A few hours later the guy he was with calls me and starts saying he can smell chlorine in his room from the YMCA. We have a small YMCA attached to our building. They don't have a pool or anything else that uses chlorine. I just walked past the area not even a minute before he is whining about this. I didn't smell a thing. His room isn't even attached to the YMCA just next too it and it is the Racket Ball room next to that outside wall.
We will be changing his address in the system so he can't send in a bad survey.
I had a guest come in last night with two booked, but had in the traces that he wanted both rooms to be smoking. We only have a handful of smoking rooms, and we keep those for our regulars that smoke.
He was getting pissy with us that he wanted smoking and he put that in his comments when he made the reservations. I had to tell him over and over again that he didn't book a smoking room, and we don't have any smoking rooms to give him. Then he tells me, "What are comments good for then?" Well if there had been a smoking room available when you made the reservation then you could have booked a smoking room.
He goes on to argue that he made the reservation last week and blah blah blah. Well our smoking rooms are booked every week by our regular guest tough luck.
A few hours later the guy he was with calls me and starts saying he can smell chlorine in his room from the YMCA. We have a small YMCA attached to our building. They don't have a pool or anything else that uses chlorine. I just walked past the area not even a minute before he is whining about this. I didn't smell a thing. His room isn't even attached to the YMCA just next too it and it is the Racket Ball room next to that outside wall.
We will be changing his address in the system so he can't send in a bad survey.
Monday, March 21, 2011
My Babies Shouldn't Have Been Prevented.
I was talking with a guest that was standing at the desk. She was telling me how she went to Walmart, and forgot her hair spray until after she was already out on the road. I just said back to her that I do that quite a bit. but when it happens I never go back, not even if I'm just in the check out line because I have a herd of kids with me, and that is probably why I forgot what ever it was in the first place.
She then looks at me and says "You know we've figured out how to prevent that?" Say what now? My gm and I both looked at her and she clarified what she was saying. "You know, we have ways of preventing babies." I was just standing there with a look of WTF, and my GM looks at her and tells her my kids are awesome.
How can someone say to you that your children should have been prevented? She then goes to say I'm contributing to over population. My best guess is that she has her head up her ass too far to read a book or articles on the fact that the population is declining around the world. Just do a quick Google search.
How do you respond to a customer across the desk? I have a pocket full of responses for when this happens with people I can tell off. I can't tell her to go prevent herself and she could easily reduce the global population by one tonight. People come to hotels to that quite a bit, but no. I can only stand there and think "Did you really just say that to me?"
I have four children. We are not in a race with the Duggars.
Where do people get off on being able to comment on the amount of kids they have? It's not like I'm hoarding babies or having them by the litter like Octomom. But can you even say those kids should have been prevented? They are deserving of life just as much as you are.
My kids rock, and if I could have more I would.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Taxes
Guess what? I don't have control over TAXES! Yes, the state and the county will charge you taxes for your stay. Don't get mad at me. No, I will not remove them from your bill, and yes you will have to pay them. Just like anything else.
Let me guess, you are the asshat that calls up to your phone company and whines about the taxes and the 911 fee on your bill.
Get over yourself.
Dude turned into an ass when he realized he had $5.00 in taxes on his room from the county. His wife kept talking to me normal and I stopped dealing with him. I think she wanted to smack him too.
Let me guess, you are the asshat that calls up to your phone company and whines about the taxes and the 911 fee on your bill.
Get over yourself.
Dude turned into an ass when he realized he had $5.00 in taxes on his room from the county. His wife kept talking to me normal and I stopped dealing with him. I think she wanted to smack him too.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
You are not the boss of me!
We are next door to a large mall type store. The building is owned by the same people that own us. Yesterday around 4pm I get a call from someone at one of the stores. He asked for my GM. I told him she was out sick. He then ask for the manager on duty. That's me. He then started in on wanting a room comped, and that he was corporate of something at the mall. There are more stores than I can count in the mall.
I tell him I can't comp a room and the best I can do is direct bill it to the mall. He gets mad at me and starts saying he's been trying to get in touch with the GM since Friday evening. It is Tuesday and the GM doesn't work weekends. If he was someone of importance he would have known this, and would have gone the proper channels. You can't reach a GM on the weekends.
I only comp rooms when the owners or GM tells me too. I don't know who this guy was, but he was really trying to act like he could tell me what to do because he was corporate over something. I doubt the owners would want to comp a room with how busy we are. I told him to call back and talk to the girl on 1st because me giving him the GM's email wasn't good enough for him.
I also doubt that if it was one of the owners calling I would have been talked to so rudely. You can really tell when someone is trying to throw their weight around but have nothing to throw. I don't care if you are the Queen. I'm not giving you a free room.
I tell him I can't comp a room and the best I can do is direct bill it to the mall. He gets mad at me and starts saying he's been trying to get in touch with the GM since Friday evening. It is Tuesday and the GM doesn't work weekends. If he was someone of importance he would have known this, and would have gone the proper channels. You can't reach a GM on the weekends.
I only comp rooms when the owners or GM tells me too. I don't know who this guy was, but he was really trying to act like he could tell me what to do because he was corporate over something. I doubt the owners would want to comp a room with how busy we are. I told him to call back and talk to the girl on 1st because me giving him the GM's email wasn't good enough for him.
I also doubt that if it was one of the owners calling I would have been talked to so rudely. You can really tell when someone is trying to throw their weight around but have nothing to throw. I don't care if you are the Queen. I'm not giving you a free room.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Do you ever wonder how some people have survived so long?
We had an older couple in last night. They were calling or coming by the front desk every 10 minutes asking how to do something or for something.
When I checked them in, the woman pulled out a list of restaurants. I got out a map, and she highlights each one. I show her where they are and how to get to them. It is a pretty good map of the downtown area the city has given us. Keep in mind our downtown is maybe 2 miles by 2 miles and only 4 one way streets.
They get to their room and call down for a light bulb. That's fine. I take them a light bulb. Before I can get out of the lobby, I hear the phone ring. The GM answered it. I get to their room and they have the door open. She then ask for 2 more top sheets.
I go back down stairs and the GM is leaving message for housekeeping to let them know that 204 will have two extra top sheets. I get out the only two sheets I have, and I take them too the room.
When I take the sheets to them, the husband is out of his room trying to unlock their car for his wife. She is standing in the parking lot doing pirouettes of confusion while he clicks away. I really start worry about them at this point.
They wonder back through the lobby and she stands behind the guest I'm checking in and starts asking me about the Gym attached to our hotel. We have an agreement with them that our guest can use them for free. I've already explained all of this to them when I checked them in.
It was a Monday night, so non stop people. 204 called back down asking how to use the internet. I am surprised by how many people don't know how to search for wireless networks on their computers. Choose what ever network has the most signal and is unsecured! How simple?
Before my GM can walk away from the desk the woman calls down asking if we had her map. No, we sure don't.
The woman comes back down and gives me a bottom sheet. Oops. That was all I had in the lobby. I tell her I'll have to go back to housekeeping to get her one when I get a chance.
My GM runs out as fast as she can and goes home. I don't blame her.
The woman wonders back into the lobby with her ice bucket. I tell her where the ice machine is. People never look at their maps to see where the ice machine is. She tells me to just keep the sheet at the desk because she is going to go take a nap. She wonders around the lobby. She comes back to the desk and asked me about the Gym again. Then she wonders to the house phone that doesn't work. I tell her it doesn't work, but she keeps trying. She finally asked me if she could call her husband from it. I offer her the desk phone and dial her room. She then tells her husband that she is going to the gym. She still has her ice bucket in her hand.
I finally get a chance to go back to house keeping and get their extra sheet. We already have 2 top sheets on the beds with the duvet.
I call their room but they don't answer.
The husband shows up for the sheet and asked me how people who bring their own computers print. This is the first time they brought their own lap top on a trip. I tell him if he had a thumb drive he can plug it into the lobby computer or he could email it to himself and print it off that way. I then had to explain how to email yourself.
Then they come back to the desk with the list of restaurants and for another map. I go through the whole thing with them again. Very simple place to get too.
When they got back to the hotel she said they couldn't find what they were looking for but found another place. She brought me their information booklet. Nice, thanks.
The husband comes back down to get the room key while she is talking to me. I gave them 2 keys by the way.
The wife goes to the lobby computer. She then comes back asking how to get to Hotmail. I go over and type it in the browser for her. She asked me "how did you do that? Did you just type it over it?" I them educate her on how to type in a web address.
It isn't long before she is back. This time she can't get anything to print.
I go over and check everything. She tells me that she has hit print a few times. I'm hoping at this point it doesn't print out 10 copies. Turns out the printer wasn't on. You know why the printer wasn't on? She turned it off trying to get it to print.
I turn it on and wait to make sure it doesn't start printing on it's own. I printed it for her. There was a guest waiting on the computer behind her. He had a look of "are you kidding me?" on his face. I do think he understood my pain.
She had her ice bucket with her this whole time. I'm not sure if she went back to her room or what, but she kept carrying that thing around like a child does a blankie.
Thankfully they went back too their room, and didn't come back down for the rest of the night. The look on this woman's face was of total confusion and as if she was dumbfounded by everything.
When I checked them in, the woman pulled out a list of restaurants. I got out a map, and she highlights each one. I show her where they are and how to get to them. It is a pretty good map of the downtown area the city has given us. Keep in mind our downtown is maybe 2 miles by 2 miles and only 4 one way streets.
They get to their room and call down for a light bulb. That's fine. I take them a light bulb. Before I can get out of the lobby, I hear the phone ring. The GM answered it. I get to their room and they have the door open. She then ask for 2 more top sheets.
I go back down stairs and the GM is leaving message for housekeeping to let them know that 204 will have two extra top sheets. I get out the only two sheets I have, and I take them too the room.
When I take the sheets to them, the husband is out of his room trying to unlock their car for his wife. She is standing in the parking lot doing pirouettes of confusion while he clicks away. I really start worry about them at this point.
They wonder back through the lobby and she stands behind the guest I'm checking in and starts asking me about the Gym attached to our hotel. We have an agreement with them that our guest can use them for free. I've already explained all of this to them when I checked them in.
It was a Monday night, so non stop people. 204 called back down asking how to use the internet. I am surprised by how many people don't know how to search for wireless networks on their computers. Choose what ever network has the most signal and is unsecured! How simple?
Before my GM can walk away from the desk the woman calls down asking if we had her map. No, we sure don't.
The woman comes back down and gives me a bottom sheet. Oops. That was all I had in the lobby. I tell her I'll have to go back to housekeeping to get her one when I get a chance.
My GM runs out as fast as she can and goes home. I don't blame her.
The woman wonders back into the lobby with her ice bucket. I tell her where the ice machine is. People never look at their maps to see where the ice machine is. She tells me to just keep the sheet at the desk because she is going to go take a nap. She wonders around the lobby. She comes back to the desk and asked me about the Gym again. Then she wonders to the house phone that doesn't work. I tell her it doesn't work, but she keeps trying. She finally asked me if she could call her husband from it. I offer her the desk phone and dial her room. She then tells her husband that she is going to the gym. She still has her ice bucket in her hand.
I finally get a chance to go back to house keeping and get their extra sheet. We already have 2 top sheets on the beds with the duvet.
I call their room but they don't answer.
The husband shows up for the sheet and asked me how people who bring their own computers print. This is the first time they brought their own lap top on a trip. I tell him if he had a thumb drive he can plug it into the lobby computer or he could email it to himself and print it off that way. I then had to explain how to email yourself.
Then they come back to the desk with the list of restaurants and for another map. I go through the whole thing with them again. Very simple place to get too.
When they got back to the hotel she said they couldn't find what they were looking for but found another place. She brought me their information booklet. Nice, thanks.
The husband comes back down to get the room key while she is talking to me. I gave them 2 keys by the way.
The wife goes to the lobby computer. She then comes back asking how to get to Hotmail. I go over and type it in the browser for her. She asked me "how did you do that? Did you just type it over it?" I them educate her on how to type in a web address.
It isn't long before she is back. This time she can't get anything to print.
I go over and check everything. She tells me that she has hit print a few times. I'm hoping at this point it doesn't print out 10 copies. Turns out the printer wasn't on. You know why the printer wasn't on? She turned it off trying to get it to print.
I turn it on and wait to make sure it doesn't start printing on it's own. I printed it for her. There was a guest waiting on the computer behind her. He had a look of "are you kidding me?" on his face. I do think he understood my pain.
She had her ice bucket with her this whole time. I'm not sure if she went back to her room or what, but she kept carrying that thing around like a child does a blankie.
Thankfully they went back too their room, and didn't come back down for the rest of the night. The look on this woman's face was of total confusion and as if she was dumbfounded by everything.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Jennifer from South Carolina shares
I have received another entry from a reader! Keep it up, I genius and all, but not every night is exciting at the front desk. Some night are spent drooling our ourselves and almost slamming our faces on the desk when we fall asleep.
Jennifer here has went above and beyond for her guest. Most of us would have told you to suck it and not dried a blanket for you. You won't catch me going back to housekeeping with out my guard driving me back to it. I don't wonder around when the creeps are lurking. Too many homeless like to sneak into what looks like closed spaces.
Let my tell you how much I LOVE this guy in 307. First the gentleman comes up to my desk and in the most rude snide way possible.
" I need a room with two king beds."
" Well Sir, I'm sorry but we only have two rooms left and the are both single bed rooms."
" Are you f***ing kidding me?"
"Well sir, it is the weekend and we do have two large groups in tonight. Although the rooms are singles, they do have a pullout couch."
" Fine, what is your rate?"
" Well sir, our rates tonight are 119.99, that DOES include breakfast in the morning, wifi etc."
"119. For THIS?"
Keep in mind that my hotel is Diamond rated
" Yes sir, 119.99, but I will give you the room for 107.99"
"Fine, got anything on the 1st floor?
" No Sir, the only two rooms I have left are on the 3rd floor"
"Well, couldn't you move someone else?"
"No Sir, I can not"
I get his card and it gets declined, I ask him for another card. He throws a fit before giving me another card. By this time, I don't care if this guy gets a room, and I'm tempted to tell him his card is declined again. I'm kicking myself for not telling him that we were sold out already. 307 Finally checks into his room. Five mins later 307 comes back for sheets for the pullout and gets pissed when I inform him that we don't have an extra blankets and 3 extra pillows for him. Throws another fit, after I bring him some sheets and inform him that if he waits 20 mins I can dry ONE extra blanket fold it and call him when its ready. 307 Pitches another fit. 20min later I ring 307 tell him his blanket is ready and he can pick it up at the front desk.
" Well can't you bring it to me?"
" Sir I can't because I am the only one here and I can't leave my desk"
307 throws another fit. Again, I am kicking my self for not turning this guy away. 307 Comes to get his blanket and yells at me because " YOU said you found two."
"No, sir I told you I had one that I would be able to get you." thinking to my self Please take your blanket and get the fuck out of my face... I smile. 307 storms off. Comes back five mins later.
" Do you have any milk cartons?"
" NO sir we don't, but if you give me just a sec I can get you a glass of milk."
"Fine"
Why am I being nice to this ass?? Erg oh well, kick myself again. I come back with two small glasses of milk, thinking that he would want more than just a tiny glass. I was wrong. OH well, I needed milk for my cookies anyway.
Its been hours since 307 has called or stormed my desk... Maybe I am free of this dick, or hopefully he left... Wishful thinking.
He is back at my desk.
" Do you have an extra ice bucket?"
" Sorry sir I do not, there are Ice buckets in the room."
"I need an extra"
" Sir I don't have an extra one." I want to kick him in the teeth " I could give you a bag for your ice?"
" I guess that will HAVE to work."
I give him a bag, and give him a fake smile and hope he leaves.
He snatches the bag from my hand and says, " You know with ALL the problems I am having with you and with 307 you should comp my room."
" Sir I am sorry but I can not comp your room."
"Fine, I will be speaking with you manager tomorrow during checkout."
That's fine, I will be leaving a detailed note to my manager on how nice I was to you, and how much you suck. MAYBE I will just print this out for her. Jack ass.
Its 10pm, I have an hour left of work and I hope that this SOB doesn't come to my desk again.
Written by Jennifer M. of SC
Thursday, March 3, 2011
I'm a Front Desk Agent
Because no Blog about a hotel or front desk is complete without this gem, I will add it now. I'm not sure who wrote it, but I'm can guess most every hotel has one posted somewhere.
Of course I have the reservation that you booked six years ago even though you don't have the confirmation number and you think it was made under a name that starts with "S".
It is completely my fault that the blizzard shut down the airport and you have to sleep in a warm king-size bed while 5000 of your co-travelers are sleeping in benches at the airport. I am sorry.
It is not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, non-smoking, poolside suites with two king beds in each, four rollaways, 3 cribs, and yes, I can install a wet bar. I know it is my fault that we do not have a helicopter landing pad.
I am a Front Desk Agent. I am expected to speak all languages fluently. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday on the weekend we're sold out that you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions, and yes, I am lying to you when I say we have no more rooms available. It is not a problem for me to quickly construct several more guest rooms. THIS time I will not forget the helicopter landing pad. And it is my fault that everyone wanted to stay here. I should have known you were coming in, even though you had no reservation. After all, you stay at our brand of hotel all the time, 300 nights a year, and this is only the first time you've ever been to our city.
I am a front desk agent. I am quite capable of checking three people in, two people out, taking five reservations, answering fifteen incoming calls, delivering six bath towels to room 625, plunging the toilet in room 101, and restocking the supply of pool towels, all at the same time. Yes, I will be glad to call the van driver and tell him to drive over all the cars stuck in traffic because you've been waiting at the airport for 15 minutes and you've got jet lag.
I am a front desk agent, an operator, a bellhop, houseman, guest service representative, housekeeper, sales coordinator, information specialist, entertainment critic, restauranteur, stock broker, referee, janitor, computer technician, plumber, ice-breaker, postman, babysitter, dispatcher, laundry cleaner, lifeguard, electrician, ambassador, personal fitness trainer, fax expert, human jukebox, domestic abuse counselor, and verbal punching bag. Yes, I know room 112 is not answering their phone. And of course I have their travel itinerary so I know exactly where they went when they left here 9 hours ago, and what their cell phone number is.
I always know where to find the best vegetarian-kosher-Mongolian-barbecue restaurants. I know exactly what to see and do in this city in fifteen minutes without spending any money and without getting caught in traffic. I take personal blame for airline food, traffic jams, rental car flat tires, and the nation's economy.
I realize that you meant to book your reservation here. People often confuse us with the Galaxy Delight Motel, Antarctica. Of course I can "fit you in" and yes, you may have the special $1 rate because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting and Bagel Club.
I am expected to smile, empathize, sympathize, console, condole, up-sell, down-sell (and know when to do which), perform, sing, dance, fix the printer, and tell your friends that you're here. And I know exactly where 613 Possum Trot Lane is in the Way Out There subdivision that they just built last week.
After all, I AM a Front Desk Agent!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Yes, I double as a GPS.
For some reason folks seem to believe I'm awesome. Yes, I know I'm awesome, but I do have my limits. It saddens me too. I wish I could be told a random address and be able to navigate you there perfectly and with out any confusion on your part (or mine). If I could top it of with a Star Wars type 3D hologram that took you turn by turn, I totally would!
When you live in a city that address are 345 3rd St Ln NE or 345 3rd St Pl NE or 345 3rd St Dr NE or 3rd St Ln NW or 345 3rd St Pl NW... and so on for all NE, NW, SE, SW, finding your way around can be a tad bit challenging.
I don't know what Restaurant that sits at 345 3rd whatever, and when you come to me and ask me this don't be surprised if I can't tell you the name of it. By the way, who told you the address of said restaurant, but couldn't tell you the name of it?
Then they look at me with the puppy dog tilted head "Aren't you from here?" No, I'm not, but I've lived here for enough years to know where I am. I assure you that you wouldn't be able to find a local able to help you out with out pulling out a map and cussing profusely for at least 10 minutes. GPS, Google Maps, and Map Quest all hate our city. They will send you to the other end of town that is SW when you put in SE. If you find yourself at a Motel that has it's front covered in the fake rock underpinning, don't get out of your car. Try to make your way out of the parking lot with out drawing any attention to yourself.
Don't get mad at me when GPS or Google gets you lost. When you called asking for our address, I told you how to get here. I told you that your GPS might not get you here and put you in the scary part of town. I warned you, but you chose to rely on Mayhem.
When you live in a city that address are 345 3rd St Ln NE or 345 3rd St Pl NE or 345 3rd St Dr NE or 3rd St Ln NW or 345 3rd St Pl NW... and so on for all NE, NW, SE, SW, finding your way around can be a tad bit challenging.
I don't know what Restaurant that sits at 345 3rd whatever, and when you come to me and ask me this don't be surprised if I can't tell you the name of it. By the way, who told you the address of said restaurant, but couldn't tell you the name of it?
Then they look at me with the puppy dog tilted head "Aren't you from here?" No, I'm not, but I've lived here for enough years to know where I am. I assure you that you wouldn't be able to find a local able to help you out with out pulling out a map and cussing profusely for at least 10 minutes. GPS, Google Maps, and Map Quest all hate our city. They will send you to the other end of town that is SW when you put in SE. If you find yourself at a Motel that has it's front covered in the fake rock underpinning, don't get out of your car. Try to make your way out of the parking lot with out drawing any attention to yourself.
Don't get mad at me when GPS or Google gets you lost. When you called asking for our address, I told you how to get here. I told you that your GPS might not get you here and put you in the scary part of town. I warned you, but you chose to rely on Mayhem.
Monday, February 28, 2011
EJP Has Something To Share With The Class.
Finally! Someone sent me their story. This is the first submission from a reader. If you make her mad while checking in, she just might put a tack in your underwear while she cleans your room.
I love it when people ask me what exactly I do at my job. I often get looks of superiority and disrespect from people, ‘guests’ albeit, and I sincerely try to have a good attitude towards them. Let me tell you though, working at a hotel, makes it DIFFICULT to be a loving Christian, not that that isn’t hard enough. The last 2 days have been particularly trying of my patience and through it I keep praying the Lord will help me be gracious and loving, patient and understanding. But I have a line. I shouldn’t but I’m human, and I do.
Woman comes up to me at 9pm, right as another man walks in. The woman beat him to the desk. I try and help her. The following is the gist of the night.
Woman in low cut cleavage bearing zebra print blouse says “Yeah, I’d like to check out of my room. it’s a dumb question, but I’d like to anyway.” Plays with her hair and cocks her hip.
Me…. Attempting to process. “Ma’am, I’m sorry but checkout was at 12 noon. It’s 9 oclock at night, I can’t let you check out without charging you for the night.”
“aw, do you have too?”
“Um, yes ma’am I do.”
“Oh, ok. Well, I want you to send someone to my room to change my bed and give me fresh towels.” Are you serious?
“Our housekeepers left at 1 Ma’am, I’m sorry but if you want your bed changed again, I can give you the sheets but I’m the only one here, and I can’t leave the desk.” Looks at me in shock.
Woman: “Oh well Fine, I am MORE than competent and capable of changing a bed! My toddler got cheetos everywhere and I don‘t want to sleep in it!”
“Well, here you are…., Have a GREAT night.”
“Can I help you sir?”
Man walks up….
“Yeah how much awe yo ooms?”
(Me… attempting to decipher the alcohol and the accent) “** dollars a night sir.”
“That’s the bast you can dooo.???”
“Yes sir, I can’t go lower than that unless you have a military ID”
“Well fine, buke me aw oom, closest to tha gurls. Closest to the lobay”
“Ok sir.” (note there are no girls. I proceeded to check him in… shockingly his credit card hadn’t declined (not trying to be judgmental but people who look and act like this guy have a really strong probability of having their cards declined. I had just finished getting harassed by a rude guest who had had his card declined and was livid about it. ITS NOT MY FAULT YOU DON”T PAY YOUR BILLS!)
So I check this guy in. put him in the closest room to the lobby I could. Apparently, it wasn’t close enough. After repeating his information back to him no less than 3 times, he finally leaves. My irritation level is high.
Within moments he is back.
“Is dat tha besz you gut? Babay I want to be closa to the gurls.”
Ok…. 1- Call me ‘Baby’ one more time. See what happens. 2- THERE ARE NO GIRLS!
“Sir I’m sorry but that’s the best I can do, its 9 oclock, we don’t have any rooms closer.”
“Well naw that ain’t right, in LA I would get what I wantad you know what tame it is in LA?”
“Sir, your in North Carolina. I’m sorry, but that’s the best I can do.”
“Do you knaw that I could gat whateva I wanted in LA right now? Do you knaw what tame it is there?”
“It’s 6pm in Los Angeles sir. We are not in Los Angeles. We’re in North Carolina, it is nine pm, our rooms are booked. I’m sorry sir that’s the best I can do.”
“Well naw that ain’t good nough. I want a refun.”
“Did you move anything in the room sir?”
“huh?”
“Is the room dirty?”
“naw I Didn’t even go to tha room.”…. (Are you flipping kidding me?)
“Ok sir, your card has not been charged. Have a goodnight.”
Man storms out.
That’s just a sample of my night.
Ask me again, in your special tone, what exactly do I do? Let me tell you. I work both desk and housekeeping. That means that several nights a week, I get to stand at attention at the front desk to greet arrogant, self-centered, belittling people, as they check in, attempt to badger me for better rates, cuss me out when they don’t have enough money, or their cards are declined, or the room is exterior entrance, or the towels aren’t folded right, or they found a speck of something somewhere supposedly. I also have to deal with asinine drunks, random people who like to wander around at night doing nothing, and lonely construction workers who attempt to sweet talk me into drinking with them or going back to their rooms.
As a housekeeper, I have the privilege of scrubbing the toilets of the upper middle class. Its such an honor. I also get to attempt to play acrobat as I navigate through the random piles of stuff you leave in your room, yet expect me to clean around. I clean up your spit cups, your beer cans, your condoms, trash, tampons, porn magazines, toys, games, goo and garbage. I scrub away the ring of skin and sebum you’ve left in the tub, I scrub your urine from everywhere it should not possibly be, your feces from the walls, floors, and you don’t want to know where else, clean up your shaved hair, and scrub your floors on my hands and knees so when the next person uses your room, they don’t vomit upon entrance. See, I like to think I do my job for those rare but occasional normal, decent people, the ones who make my job a pleasure; I serve and help them along their journey with a genuine smile upon my face. But for people like you, who do all of the above and then have the audacity to come up to me with your belittling attitudes, degrading myself and my coworkers as if we are nothing because we work at a hotel, let me ask you now. Have I adequately answered your condescending question you ego-maniacal pig?
For the normal people out there… thank you for being courteous and respectful. Its people like you that stop hospitality workers like myself from climbing over the desk and strangling the men hitting on us while their wives use the restroom with their own ties.
Lord forgive me my temper. You know I’m trying. Please grant us all patience, perseverance, and a good attitude.
I really do like my job. Maybe its just people I have a problem with. …..
EJP
I love it when people ask me what exactly I do at my job. I often get looks of superiority and disrespect from people, ‘guests’ albeit, and I sincerely try to have a good attitude towards them. Let me tell you though, working at a hotel, makes it DIFFICULT to be a loving Christian, not that that isn’t hard enough. The last 2 days have been particularly trying of my patience and through it I keep praying the Lord will help me be gracious and loving, patient and understanding. But I have a line. I shouldn’t but I’m human, and I do.
Woman comes up to me at 9pm, right as another man walks in. The woman beat him to the desk. I try and help her. The following is the gist of the night.
Woman in low cut cleavage bearing zebra print blouse says “Yeah, I’d like to check out of my room. it’s a dumb question, but I’d like to anyway.” Plays with her hair and cocks her hip.
Me…. Attempting to process. “Ma’am, I’m sorry but checkout was at 12 noon. It’s 9 oclock at night, I can’t let you check out without charging you for the night.”
“aw, do you have too?”
“Um, yes ma’am I do.”
“Oh, ok. Well, I want you to send someone to my room to change my bed and give me fresh towels.” Are you serious?
“Our housekeepers left at 1 Ma’am, I’m sorry but if you want your bed changed again, I can give you the sheets but I’m the only one here, and I can’t leave the desk.” Looks at me in shock.
Woman: “Oh well Fine, I am MORE than competent and capable of changing a bed! My toddler got cheetos everywhere and I don‘t want to sleep in it!”
“Well, here you are…., Have a GREAT night.”
“Can I help you sir?”
Man walks up….
“Yeah how much awe yo ooms?”
(Me… attempting to decipher the alcohol and the accent) “** dollars a night sir.”
“That’s the bast you can dooo.???”
“Yes sir, I can’t go lower than that unless you have a military ID”
“Well fine, buke me aw oom, closest to tha gurls. Closest to the lobay”
“Ok sir.” (note there are no girls. I proceeded to check him in… shockingly his credit card hadn’t declined (not trying to be judgmental but people who look and act like this guy have a really strong probability of having their cards declined. I had just finished getting harassed by a rude guest who had had his card declined and was livid about it. ITS NOT MY FAULT YOU DON”T PAY YOUR BILLS!)
So I check this guy in. put him in the closest room to the lobby I could. Apparently, it wasn’t close enough. After repeating his information back to him no less than 3 times, he finally leaves. My irritation level is high.
Within moments he is back.
“Is dat tha besz you gut? Babay I want to be closa to the gurls.”
Ok…. 1- Call me ‘Baby’ one more time. See what happens. 2- THERE ARE NO GIRLS!
“Sir I’m sorry but that’s the best I can do, its 9 oclock, we don’t have any rooms closer.”
“Well naw that ain’t right, in LA I would get what I wantad you know what tame it is in LA?”
“Sir, your in North Carolina. I’m sorry, but that’s the best I can do.”
“Do you knaw that I could gat whateva I wanted in LA right now? Do you knaw what tame it is there?”
“It’s 6pm in Los Angeles sir. We are not in Los Angeles. We’re in North Carolina, it is nine pm, our rooms are booked. I’m sorry sir that’s the best I can do.”
“Well naw that ain’t good nough. I want a refun.”
“Did you move anything in the room sir?”
“huh?”
“Is the room dirty?”
“naw I Didn’t even go to tha room.”…. (Are you flipping kidding me?)
“Ok sir, your card has not been charged. Have a goodnight.”
Man storms out.
That’s just a sample of my night.
Ask me again, in your special tone, what exactly do I do? Let me tell you. I work both desk and housekeeping. That means that several nights a week, I get to stand at attention at the front desk to greet arrogant, self-centered, belittling people, as they check in, attempt to badger me for better rates, cuss me out when they don’t have enough money, or their cards are declined, or the room is exterior entrance, or the towels aren’t folded right, or they found a speck of something somewhere supposedly. I also have to deal with asinine drunks, random people who like to wander around at night doing nothing, and lonely construction workers who attempt to sweet talk me into drinking with them or going back to their rooms.
As a housekeeper, I have the privilege of scrubbing the toilets of the upper middle class. Its such an honor. I also get to attempt to play acrobat as I navigate through the random piles of stuff you leave in your room, yet expect me to clean around. I clean up your spit cups, your beer cans, your condoms, trash, tampons, porn magazines, toys, games, goo and garbage. I scrub away the ring of skin and sebum you’ve left in the tub, I scrub your urine from everywhere it should not possibly be, your feces from the walls, floors, and you don’t want to know where else, clean up your shaved hair, and scrub your floors on my hands and knees so when the next person uses your room, they don’t vomit upon entrance. See, I like to think I do my job for those rare but occasional normal, decent people, the ones who make my job a pleasure; I serve and help them along their journey with a genuine smile upon my face. But for people like you, who do all of the above and then have the audacity to come up to me with your belittling attitudes, degrading myself and my coworkers as if we are nothing because we work at a hotel, let me ask you now. Have I adequately answered your condescending question you ego-maniacal pig?
For the normal people out there… thank you for being courteous and respectful. Its people like you that stop hospitality workers like myself from climbing over the desk and strangling the men hitting on us while their wives use the restroom with their own ties.
Lord forgive me my temper. You know I’m trying. Please grant us all patience, perseverance, and a good attitude.
I really do like my job. Maybe its just people I have a problem with. …..
EJP
Thursday, February 24, 2011
You are a shining example for your children.
Once a woman came in and started talking about how her room smelled like pee. I went into the room and couldn't smell any pee. I smelled all the stuff used to clean the room, but no pee. I have kids; I know what pee smells like.
I gave her a lower rate after we had already upgraded her to a suite. She was threatening me with the NCAACP and all kinds of other acronyms. Then later, she came down after mid night saying she had cum stains on her sheets. Made the girl at the desk sign something saying there was a stain on the sheet. The woman is just looking for a free room. She was being loud and making a big to do at the desk in front of another guest. "I have sex with my husband! I know what cum stains look like!" she shouted in front of a male guest. I wonder if she was carrying on like that in front of her daughters. The sheet was clean, just a small stain. She had to have been searching for it, and honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't put it on there herself just to have something to complain about.
The next day her daughter came down and was waiting patiently for me to check a guest out and answer his questions. She was looking for a safety pin for her dress. As I was getting her a sewing kit her mom showed up at the desk showing how smashing her social skills were once again. Her 3 girls that were with her looked so embarrassed by her. When they were in the lobby they were polite and total opposites of their mother. It amazes me how people can go around being so nasty to everyone they encounter. I'm hoping her girls don't start taking after her.
Monday, February 7, 2011
"Security" Guards
I promised I'd write about our Guards.
We have a company that provides us our protection. They are nice guys, but I don't see them doing much protecting.
The man that is over the patrol is a older man. He is nice and I like him as a person. I really do. But he also is missing his big toe. He had it removed because of diabetes. Thankfully he didn't lose more than his toe, but he is still not going to be chasing anyone down. Who am I kidding, He wasn't ever going to chase anyone down. He carries a gun. You can't out run a bullet.
The other character they have provided for my entertainment is a special one. One night I had a creep that kept hanging out at the desk asking me strange questions and asking me to go on a date with him or just back to his room. I turned him down as I always do. But he would find a reason to come back once an hour it seemed. The Guard, we'll call him Lucky, came in once and scared him off. He likes to talk and gets really excited when he does.
When it was time for me to go, Lucky had came back by on his 2nd round. I asked him to just hang out while I got to my car so if Creepy was waiting he'd not pounce. As we were walking out the front door, he said that I had nothing to worry about. He then reached into his holster. My instincts said to get behind him, good thing too. He pulled out his taser gun. As he pulled it out he shot the poor unsuspecting bush! What if there was a family of birds living in it?
As I stood there in horror watching this poor bush being zapped to death, I realized I was about 2 seconds from having that thing in my ass cheek. My instincts paid off. It seemed as if the zapping was never going to end. He claims it was a misfire and that he didn't shoot it off. He went to his trunk and started messing around saying he was going to have to send it back.... blah blah blah. I just kept thinking about how I could have been laying on the bricks pissing my pants for 15 seconds. I hurried off to my car. I've never asked any of them to watch out for me in the parking lot again. I'll take my chances with the Creepies.
We have a company that provides us our protection. They are nice guys, but I don't see them doing much protecting.
The man that is over the patrol is a older man. He is nice and I like him as a person. I really do. But he also is missing his big toe. He had it removed because of diabetes. Thankfully he didn't lose more than his toe, but he is still not going to be chasing anyone down. Who am I kidding, He wasn't ever going to chase anyone down. He carries a gun. You can't out run a bullet.
The other character they have provided for my entertainment is a special one. One night I had a creep that kept hanging out at the desk asking me strange questions and asking me to go on a date with him or just back to his room. I turned him down as I always do. But he would find a reason to come back once an hour it seemed. The Guard, we'll call him Lucky, came in once and scared him off. He likes to talk and gets really excited when he does.
When it was time for me to go, Lucky had came back by on his 2nd round. I asked him to just hang out while I got to my car so if Creepy was waiting he'd not pounce. As we were walking out the front door, he said that I had nothing to worry about. He then reached into his holster. My instincts said to get behind him, good thing too. He pulled out his taser gun. As he pulled it out he shot the poor unsuspecting bush! What if there was a family of birds living in it?
As I stood there in horror watching this poor bush being zapped to death, I realized I was about 2 seconds from having that thing in my ass cheek. My instincts paid off. It seemed as if the zapping was never going to end. He claims it was a misfire and that he didn't shoot it off. He went to his trunk and started messing around saying he was going to have to send it back.... blah blah blah. I just kept thinking about how I could have been laying on the bricks pissing my pants for 15 seconds. I hurried off to my car. I've never asked any of them to watch out for me in the parking lot again. I'll take my chances with the Creepies.
Mosegueet?
Today she was working on updating the website information. It is a site that send info to everything that might pull up our hotel.
I was helping her locate places and come up BS to try and sell the place. I left for a few minutes to check in a guest and when I came back she asked me "What is a mosequeek? Moseqeet? Mosequit? Moseguee What the hell is that?" As she pointed to the computer screen. Mosque! I did not retain my laughter at all. This is what public school in the Bible Belt does to you. Thankfully she has a great since of humor, and can laugh at herself right along with people because I laughed pretty hard.
She now has seen the word wrote out and will get it next time.
P.S. She will read this. Haha!
I was helping her locate places and come up BS to try and sell the place. I left for a few minutes to check in a guest and when I came back she asked me "What is a mosequeek? Moseqeet? Mosequit? Moseguee What the hell is that?" As she pointed to the computer screen. Mosque! I did not retain my laughter at all. This is what public school in the Bible Belt does to you. Thankfully she has a great since of humor, and can laugh at herself right along with people because I laughed pretty hard.
She now has seen the word wrote out and will get it next time.
P.S. She will read this. Haha!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Locking It Down
Tonight has been an interesting night to say the least. It started out busy and steady. We have a full house and everyone is now checked in.
All night I've been hearing things behind the desk, in the storage room and kitchen shifting and moving. I keep thinking it must be things settling and brushing it off. I've had things fall for no reason... or the sound of something big falling, but go back and see what happened only to find everything just fine and in order.
I've been sitting around playing on the computer now that I have a moment to myself in the back office. I then leave my desk to go to the restroom. There is a guy laying on my couch in the lobby. He is some what young, and is texting on his phone. I smile at him and he looks a bit worried. As I'm in the restroom I hear him go out the side door. I watch him walk half way down the sidewalk and stop at the stairs in front of one of my rooms. He just stands there. He was watching me too. I called my security guard. Sadly by the time he got here, the guy was gone. I don't know where he went.
After I get back into the office to wait for the the security guard to get here, I hear a female voice say my name. I was thinking it was a guest or the Head Housekeeper coming in. She will sometimes come by and work on something in the evenings. I get up and the only person in the lobby is the older man on the computer, and he doesn't give off a creepy vibe at all. It also sounded like it was coming from the back with me.
Needless to say I've now locked all the doors leading into the lobby an hour early. Everyone is checked in and I'm out of rooms to sell, so no need to keep them open.
No, I don't use drugs and I've not been drinking on the job.
Update: My coworker just called me after reading this... He said the other night he kept hearing stuff fall. He says he went over the front desk at one point. Talk about macho man. When he finally manned up he went to check things out, and nothing had fallen.
All night I've been hearing things behind the desk, in the storage room and kitchen shifting and moving. I keep thinking it must be things settling and brushing it off. I've had things fall for no reason... or the sound of something big falling, but go back and see what happened only to find everything just fine and in order.
I've been sitting around playing on the computer now that I have a moment to myself in the back office. I then leave my desk to go to the restroom. There is a guy laying on my couch in the lobby. He is some what young, and is texting on his phone. I smile at him and he looks a bit worried. As I'm in the restroom I hear him go out the side door. I watch him walk half way down the sidewalk and stop at the stairs in front of one of my rooms. He just stands there. He was watching me too. I called my security guard. Sadly by the time he got here, the guy was gone. I don't know where he went.
After I get back into the office to wait for the the security guard to get here, I hear a female voice say my name. I was thinking it was a guest or the Head Housekeeper coming in. She will sometimes come by and work on something in the evenings. I get up and the only person in the lobby is the older man on the computer, and he doesn't give off a creepy vibe at all. It also sounded like it was coming from the back with me.
Needless to say I've now locked all the doors leading into the lobby an hour early. Everyone is checked in and I'm out of rooms to sell, so no need to keep them open.
No, I don't use drugs and I've not been drinking on the job.
Update: My coworker just called me after reading this... He said the other night he kept hearing stuff fall. He says he went over the front desk at one point. Talk about macho man. When he finally manned up he went to check things out, and nothing had fallen.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Soooo you want a room tonight... well be nice to me.
I just want to vent a bit... not so much fume.. but you know. I won't use many bad words.
So if you go into a hotel and want a room. Be nice to the front desk. You just might get a lower rate. Be a jerk... get a higher rate. Simple.
A man comes in and doesn't want one of my outside rooms. All but 4 of my rooms are on the outside. The 4 inside rooms are suits. He wanted me to give him one of them for just a few bucks more than my other rooms cost. Acting like I should just do it so he will stay with me. Move it along buddy. Later that night... I sold one room full price and a Platinum member got upgraded to the other.
One dude called asking if I'd cut our rate by HALF because he wasn't coming in until 11p and would be leaving before 8am. That's still all night and breakfast in the morning. So sorry.. not happening. "I guess we will just stay somewhere else" ... "Well good luck with that. I hope the hourly motel is nice".
Next folks. Locals. Sorry we only take Major credit cards from locals, unless your insurance company is paying for it. Sorry... the $100.00 deposit does not cover the crazy damage you folks cause. Byebye.
And the the icing on the cake. Dude calls up ask me if we take credit cards over the phone. "Yes, that is how we reserve our rooms with a credit card over the phone" Then I lost connection with him and his cell. (ok.. honestly.. I hit the button my mistake and hung up on him.. but shhhhh... )
A bit later his wife calls.
Me: "Yes, we take credit cards over the phone to reserve the room, however I'm currently busy at the moment with a guest can you call 1800(reservation line) and make the reservation"
Her: I don't have a computer, so just call me back.
Me: It is a phone number. You call it.
Her: I don't have my computer. I can't use it.
Me: You call it... with a Phone.
Her: oh
Me: Yeah, Oh.
A bit later dude comes in. "So you take credit cards over the phone? My wife made the reservation. The lady at the other hotel told me they won't take credit cards over the phone. She was a real bitch"
Ok First off. Robin is a sweet heart. 2nd.. umm... we make reservations with credit cards over the phone, but we have to have the credit card or at least a fax of it front and back to insure you are the owner of said card.
So now he is getting bitchy at me. I tell him he can scan it and email it to me if he can't get to a fax machine. Nope. He hands me his cell phone to talk to his wife. She bitches me out.. Hellooooo... She tells met he guy at the reservation line told her it would be fine. I tell her that I can't do it.
I finally talk them into using their Points to pay for the room. I don't really need a credit card for that. 15,000 points and you have yourself a free room.
For all I know that could have been Bob Doles credit card. Not worth my ass over.
Needless to say I was ready to get home tonight and had a head ache. The night could have been worse like last night when half the hotel didn't have water, and no one thought it would be nice to let me know. That was a fun 4 hours.
So if you go into a hotel and want a room. Be nice to the front desk. You just might get a lower rate. Be a jerk... get a higher rate. Simple.
A man comes in and doesn't want one of my outside rooms. All but 4 of my rooms are on the outside. The 4 inside rooms are suits. He wanted me to give him one of them for just a few bucks more than my other rooms cost. Acting like I should just do it so he will stay with me. Move it along buddy. Later that night... I sold one room full price and a Platinum member got upgraded to the other.
One dude called asking if I'd cut our rate by HALF because he wasn't coming in until 11p and would be leaving before 8am. That's still all night and breakfast in the morning. So sorry.. not happening. "I guess we will just stay somewhere else" ... "Well good luck with that. I hope the hourly motel is nice".
Next folks. Locals. Sorry we only take Major credit cards from locals, unless your insurance company is paying for it. Sorry... the $100.00 deposit does not cover the crazy damage you folks cause. Byebye.
And the the icing on the cake. Dude calls up ask me if we take credit cards over the phone. "Yes, that is how we reserve our rooms with a credit card over the phone" Then I lost connection with him and his cell. (ok.. honestly.. I hit the button my mistake and hung up on him.. but shhhhh... )
A bit later his wife calls.
Me: "Yes, we take credit cards over the phone to reserve the room, however I'm currently busy at the moment with a guest can you call 1800(reservation line) and make the reservation"
Her: I don't have a computer, so just call me back.
Me: It is a phone number. You call it.
Her: I don't have my computer. I can't use it.
Me: You call it... with a Phone.
Her: oh
Me: Yeah, Oh.
A bit later dude comes in. "So you take credit cards over the phone? My wife made the reservation. The lady at the other hotel told me they won't take credit cards over the phone. She was a real bitch"
Ok First off. Robin is a sweet heart. 2nd.. umm... we make reservations with credit cards over the phone, but we have to have the credit card or at least a fax of it front and back to insure you are the owner of said card.
So now he is getting bitchy at me. I tell him he can scan it and email it to me if he can't get to a fax machine. Nope. He hands me his cell phone to talk to his wife. She bitches me out.. Hellooooo... She tells met he guy at the reservation line told her it would be fine. I tell her that I can't do it.
I finally talk them into using their Points to pay for the room. I don't really need a credit card for that. 15,000 points and you have yourself a free room.
For all I know that could have been Bob Doles credit card. Not worth my ass over.
Needless to say I was ready to get home tonight and had a head ache. The night could have been worse like last night when half the hotel didn't have water, and no one thought it would be nice to let me know. That was a fun 4 hours.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
A story about Poop
One morning when I got to work there was a note on the desk:
So naturally I had to get the story on this one.
He checked in and made a big deal about him being the only one that was going to be in the room. But when housekeeping went in the next day poo was smeared every where along with condoms.
And while he was here he complained about things and got a discounted rate, extra Club points and then called the customer care folks to complain that he didn't get enough free points for a free night.
My co worker was kind enough to not explain what dude had done to the room, while I would have said "you know what that fool did?"
Brad _____ __________________ Guest that POOPED on our sheets & pillows. Do Not Rent! |
He checked in and made a big deal about him being the only one that was going to be in the room. But when housekeeping went in the next day poo was smeared every where along with condoms.
And while he was here he complained about things and got a discounted rate, extra Club points and then called the customer care folks to complain that he didn't get enough free points for a free night.
My co worker was kind enough to not explain what dude had done to the room, while I would have said "you know what that fool did?"
Friday, January 21, 2011
Real Vs. Fake
One busy night we had a house full of old golfers and young girls that play soccer.
At the last moment we had people walk in for the meeting room. A bridal shower. The Pure Romance lady was here first. Then the lady in charge came in and was a very unpleasant demanding troll. The room was set up the way she asked, but I guess she changed her mind. Wanted me to move stuff out of the room... umm no.
Then what do you know but a male stripper comes in! They were screaming and acting like fools.
I guess the stripper was so wild that the Pure Romance lady left the room and didn't go back until he was done. The guard was kinda taken back when he walked in. I didn't know at that point there was a man removing his clothing, and I felt kinda bad for sending in an unsuspecting man. I was then blessed with the women in the lobby talking about how now their undies were soaked in bodily fluids.
Keep the strippers at home.
At the last moment we had people walk in for the meeting room. A bridal shower. The Pure Romance lady was here first. Then the lady in charge came in and was a very unpleasant demanding troll. The room was set up the way she asked, but I guess she changed her mind. Wanted me to move stuff out of the room... umm no.
Then what do you know but a male stripper comes in! They were screaming and acting like fools.
I guess the stripper was so wild that the Pure Romance lady left the room and didn't go back until he was done. The guard was kinda taken back when he walked in. I didn't know at that point there was a man removing his clothing, and I felt kinda bad for sending in an unsuspecting man. I was then blessed with the women in the lobby talking about how now their undies were soaked in bodily fluids.
Keep the strippers at home.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Take care of your old folks people!
Yesterday I had an old man come in. He seemed pretty lucid but just mean. He was talking to me and was willing to pay the deposit and his room charge up front. Things changed when I asked for his ID. He got pissed off at me and stormed out.
Well I'm not 100% that it was the same guy that came back after 11pm for a room, but we think it was. He was confused and lost. Turns out he was already checked into the Best Western with all his things there, but forgot he was there. He told the night auditor that he forgot his meds there. She called over and they told her he was still checked in. The security guy escorted him back the the Best Western. He had checked into at least 6 hotels in the area. One person knew him at another hotel. They said he is homeless because his family doesn't want to take care of him.
The security guy called the police, but they were no help. Someone should have called social services. This man shouldn't be wondering the streets from hotel to hotel (driving) spending all his cash at each one.
Well I'm not 100% that it was the same guy that came back after 11pm for a room, but we think it was. He was confused and lost. Turns out he was already checked into the Best Western with all his things there, but forgot he was there. He told the night auditor that he forgot his meds there. She called over and they told her he was still checked in. The security guy escorted him back the the Best Western. He had checked into at least 6 hotels in the area. One person knew him at another hotel. They said he is homeless because his family doesn't want to take care of him.
The security guy called the police, but they were no help. Someone should have called social services. This man shouldn't be wondering the streets from hotel to hotel (driving) spending all his cash at each one.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Not all nights are bad
Tonight is a busy night, we are going to sell out. I have one room left to sell.
I've had my regulars in here, and a guy that has moved over to our hotel from another down the road. I know him from when I worked over there. He likes to talk... We will just leave it at that.
I got a $10 tip from a guest tonight. I shared some cherry pie with his wife as she sat in the lobby waiting for him to get off work.
One of my regulars has promised me a gift for playing musical rooms and getting him near where he wanted to be. I won't be holding my breath.
I'm tired. My dinner of pita chips and hummus wasn't enough, I slammed my knee on the office door, and spilled my milk all over my pants. Every time I got settled in the office to pump breast milk someone came to the desk. I have just over an hour before I get to leave. Lets see if I can stay awake.
I've had my regulars in here, and a guy that has moved over to our hotel from another down the road. I know him from when I worked over there. He likes to talk... We will just leave it at that.
I got a $10 tip from a guest tonight. I shared some cherry pie with his wife as she sat in the lobby waiting for him to get off work.
One of my regulars has promised me a gift for playing musical rooms and getting him near where he wanted to be. I won't be holding my breath.
I'm tired. My dinner of pita chips and hummus wasn't enough, I slammed my knee on the office door, and spilled my milk all over my pants. Every time I got settled in the office to pump breast milk someone came to the desk. I have just over an hour before I get to leave. Lets see if I can stay awake.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Employees Only!
I don't give a flying fig newton if your bags are back there. We were nice enough to hold them for you after you checked out, but that does not mean you can just help yourself into my back room behind the front desk to get them!
I wish I could have gotten back there to lock the door between her trips back there. And the woman left the door standing open. I wonder if she helps herself in the kitchen at Burger King as well. I can't stand ditsy bitches that act like they can do whatever.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Do not flush
We still have a few smoking rooms left at our hotel. I'm counting down the days for us to go 100% smoke free. Sorry smokers, you are a pain to have.
Today's smoker has clogged their toilet by flushing cigarette butts. Really? Do you do this at home?
Tip for those staying at a hotel. Don't do anything you wouldn't do at home, and if you choose to be stupid at least give tips to those that have to fix your screw ups.
Now I'm waiting to see if they want to change rooms. I'm not calling the maintenance man in to fix something like this. We are beyond the plunger stage as far as clogs go.
Today's smoker has clogged their toilet by flushing cigarette butts. Really? Do you do this at home?
Tip for those staying at a hotel. Don't do anything you wouldn't do at home, and if you choose to be stupid at least give tips to those that have to fix your screw ups.
Now I'm waiting to see if they want to change rooms. I'm not calling the maintenance man in to fix something like this. We are beyond the plunger stage as far as clogs go.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Just because the lobby has a big screen T.V.
It isn't the place for your Super Bowl Party! I swear dude came in with a cooler, and a bag of junk food. Turned the TV to the Super Bowl, and tuned the shit up loud! I could hear it all the way in the back. I don't even know what room he is in, or if he is even a guest.
This is the part that I'm bad at... Kicking people out of my lobby for doing small annoying shit. I should had my ass plopped down on the couch watching HGTV with the remote in my hand.
I could go unplug it and remove the power cord at his next potty break.
Dude asked me turn the lights off in the lobby.
Next:
A man come in and ask if he could sit with his people and watch the game. He said "We're Christians and we don't want to go to a bar or drink. Do you mind?" So dude that was drinking like a fish is out numbered. A drunk girl also came into the lobby. I don't think she was with him though.
He didn't bother turning the TV back down to non-blow out ear drum volume. I went out there at one point because I thought he had left, but he still had his stuff all over. I figure he was in the bathroom. I went over to turn the tv down and he was still hanging out on the lobby computer. I still turned down the tv.
As it turned out dude wasn't a guest, and when the guard asked him to leave he wanted to stay and finish watching "Undercover Boss." We told him that the lobby closes at 11 and he had to go. Sorry... toodles. He wasn't happy with it, but left. At first the guard thought he was walking, but by the time he realized he was driving it was too late to stop him or follow him out.
He was trying to say someone with longish brown hair and heavy set told him he could be there. Umm.. no.
Tthe girl that came to the lobby drunk and borrowed my scissors so she could cut up a magazine.) The girl's mom was paying for their room. The girl had coke all over the room and got hair dye all over everything! Mom wasn't too happy to get the bill to replace everything her daughter ruined.
This is the part that I'm bad at... Kicking people out of my lobby for doing small annoying shit. I should had my ass plopped down on the couch watching HGTV with the remote in my hand.
I could go unplug it and remove the power cord at his next potty break.
Dude asked me turn the lights off in the lobby.
Next:
A man come in and ask if he could sit with his people and watch the game. He said "We're Christians and we don't want to go to a bar or drink. Do you mind?" So dude that was drinking like a fish is out numbered. A drunk girl also came into the lobby. I don't think she was with him though.
He didn't bother turning the TV back down to non-blow out ear drum volume. I went out there at one point because I thought he had left, but he still had his stuff all over. I figure he was in the bathroom. I went over to turn the tv down and he was still hanging out on the lobby computer. I still turned down the tv.
As it turned out dude wasn't a guest, and when the guard asked him to leave he wanted to stay and finish watching "Undercover Boss." We told him that the lobby closes at 11 and he had to go. Sorry... toodles. He wasn't happy with it, but left. At first the guard thought he was walking, but by the time he realized he was driving it was too late to stop him or follow him out.
He was trying to say someone with longish brown hair and heavy set told him he could be there. Umm.. no.
Tthe girl that came to the lobby drunk and borrowed my scissors so she could cut up a magazine.) The girl's mom was paying for their room. The girl had coke all over the room and got hair dye all over everything! Mom wasn't too happy to get the bill to replace everything her daughter ruined.
Friday, January 14, 2011
American Idol Hopeful
We have a motion detector known by us as "the Ding-Dong." When a guest comes in the front door or to the desk the Ding-Dong will sound. Most days it will simply go ding-dong, but other days it likes to spice it up and play what sounds like I've Been Working on the Railroad.
Last night I'm back in the office cuddled up with the space heater working really hard on my CityVille City, and the Ding-Dong went off. I go out and I can't see anyone in the lobby. But I hear what sounds like someone dying around the corner. "Haahoooyaa deeeedooaaaa nnnennenaaa lllaaaeee" I start reaching for the phone to call my security guard of the night (our security guards are for another post.)
Before I got the phone dude walks around the corner. He had headphones on and had been "singing." Lawd help him.
Last night I'm back in the office cuddled up with the space heater working really hard on my CityVille City, and the Ding-Dong went off. I go out and I can't see anyone in the lobby. But I hear what sounds like someone dying around the corner. "Haahoooyaa deeeedooaaaa nnnennenaaa lllaaaeee" I start reaching for the phone to call my security guard of the night (our security guards are for another post.)
Before I got the phone dude walks around the corner. He had headphones on and had been "singing." Lawd help him.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
So dude walks up to the Front Desk...
And Says "Maaeeeyyy rrrooonnmm ddrrruuu blllllaaaahhhh 1.....00000....1. And looks at me with a crazy look in his eye.
I was then looking for some to protect my self at this point while looking at him like "huh?"
Then he repeats him self, at that point I caught the 101 part. I was then thinking that he was lost or something, from a group home maybe?
He finally gets out "Lost key... 101," and then stumbles some. I also got a cloud of booze breath around my head. "ahhh" I think to myself. I check his ID before giving him a key. I then offered him the stairs back to him room. He thought about it for a moment, but opted to walk around the building.
Before him I had 2 guys coming in looking for a room, they could not tell my why they were in town (special rates for different things), and acted like me asking for an ID was too much. One guy was shaking, and I got a bad feeling about them, so I told them I'd also have to have a major credit card. They left.
After those two, a man comes in. I'm asking about who is with him, one adult.. then I ask about children. He says after hesitation "I have a small boy."
I don't know what it was about that, but it put me off. I could help but "jokingly" ask if he was his, and if he was in the trunk.
But he didn't have a card and didn't want to pay the deposit. Kinda creeps me out thinking that he didn't want to be traced ya know?
I was then looking for some to protect my self at this point while looking at him like "huh?"
Then he repeats him self, at that point I caught the 101 part. I was then thinking that he was lost or something, from a group home maybe?
He finally gets out "Lost key... 101," and then stumbles some. I also got a cloud of booze breath around my head. "ahhh" I think to myself. I check his ID before giving him a key. I then offered him the stairs back to him room. He thought about it for a moment, but opted to walk around the building.
Before him I had 2 guys coming in looking for a room, they could not tell my why they were in town (special rates for different things), and acted like me asking for an ID was too much. One guy was shaking, and I got a bad feeling about them, so I told them I'd also have to have a major credit card. They left.
After those two, a man comes in. I'm asking about who is with him, one adult.. then I ask about children. He says after hesitation "I have a small boy."
I don't know what it was about that, but it put me off. I could help but "jokingly" ask if he was his, and if he was in the trunk.
But he didn't have a card and didn't want to pay the deposit. Kinda creeps me out thinking that he didn't want to be traced ya know?
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
The Creepy Guy AKA 108
It is hard to label only one guy "Creepy," but sometimes it just fits. Sometimes you feel guilty for labeling the guy creepy because you feel bad for him. At the same time, you want to turn invisible anytime he shows up.
For the past couple of weeks we've had 108 staying with us. The first night I had the pleasure of meeting him he was buying a soda from me. He pulled out a wad of cash. I try to build a rapport with my guest. I do this by joking with them and making small talk, so when he pulled out the wad, I told him he had a problem of his wallet overflowing. He laughed and I went on to get his change for the soda and asking how his room was. He then points to a $100.00 and says "I'll give you this if you come by my room after you get off work." I've still not found a good way to react to these comments. Do I throw up all over them, do I slap them with my glove, punch them in the nose or dismiss myself? I normally just dismiss myself. After he witnessed my repulsed reaction he said he was joking. Too late. There is not going back from offering to pay someone to go by your room. There are not many ways for this offer to be taken either.
Next time he came around, I tried not to engage. He asked me about who delivered. He was just about to walk away when his phone rang.
At this point maybe we should go over why he was staying at the hotel. His house burned down. Sad I know. Why it happened? He told me he had bought a new space heater. They ruled the space heater to be the cause of the fire. He wasn't home at the time. He seem truly surprised by this.
So the person on the phone is the company that works for your insurance to put you up in a hotel and take care of all the things needed to get you where you need to be. He wanted me to talk to her to write down all the information on short term apartments. Not too unusual. I went over what she had talked about. Most people would have asked for a pen and paper. And he introduced me as his "friend" when he handed the phone over.
A bit later that night he came back. He kept asking if I wanted dinner. I politely turned him down each time. I finally told him I had issue with some foods and couldn't eat just anything. He the offered me a salad. Who can't eat a salad?
I hand him a menu for a local pizza place. I was showing him a few things that were good. He then turns the menu to me and says that he couldn't see well and asked if I would read it to him. This is not normal. This is when I start thinking he might not be able to read and write well. I help him pick a pizza and place the order for him. I have to turn him down a few more times for food. He acts like I truly hurt his feelings.
The next night he comes up and is talking to me. I try to stay in the office as much as I can. He sits on the couch in the lobby and watches the T.V. and asked me to come sit with him. I turn him down telling him I have to work. As he was going to his room he tells me to call him and tell him "night night" after I get off work.
Thankfully we are busy the next night. He came up and said he waited up until 16 minutes after I had got off work. I told him I had to get home to my kids and husband. He left me alone for the rest of the night.
I was talking with some co-workers. He was asking for towels only from housekeeping until he realized that a young girl would be helping clean his room. He then wanted her to clean his tub and make his bed. He asked if he could watch.
When he checked in he was asked to initial his registration card. He said he didn't have initials. Again, sad.
The GM has left him messages to not bother us at the desk and harass us any more. Today he came up and was telling me he wanted something to do. He asked to talk with the "girl back there" (my boss who was busy.) She said she didn't want to talk to him and was loud saying so. He heard her and went away. He will be moving in to his temporary apartment in 3 days!
Update: The other girl that works the front desk says he talks to her about religion and God. And he hasn't checked his messages.
For the past couple of weeks we've had 108 staying with us. The first night I had the pleasure of meeting him he was buying a soda from me. He pulled out a wad of cash. I try to build a rapport with my guest. I do this by joking with them and making small talk, so when he pulled out the wad, I told him he had a problem of his wallet overflowing. He laughed and I went on to get his change for the soda and asking how his room was. He then points to a $100.00 and says "I'll give you this if you come by my room after you get off work." I've still not found a good way to react to these comments. Do I throw up all over them, do I slap them with my glove, punch them in the nose or dismiss myself? I normally just dismiss myself. After he witnessed my repulsed reaction he said he was joking. Too late. There is not going back from offering to pay someone to go by your room. There are not many ways for this offer to be taken either.
Next time he came around, I tried not to engage. He asked me about who delivered. He was just about to walk away when his phone rang.
At this point maybe we should go over why he was staying at the hotel. His house burned down. Sad I know. Why it happened? He told me he had bought a new space heater. They ruled the space heater to be the cause of the fire. He wasn't home at the time. He seem truly surprised by this.
So the person on the phone is the company that works for your insurance to put you up in a hotel and take care of all the things needed to get you where you need to be. He wanted me to talk to her to write down all the information on short term apartments. Not too unusual. I went over what she had talked about. Most people would have asked for a pen and paper. And he introduced me as his "friend" when he handed the phone over.
A bit later that night he came back. He kept asking if I wanted dinner. I politely turned him down each time. I finally told him I had issue with some foods and couldn't eat just anything. He the offered me a salad. Who can't eat a salad?
I hand him a menu for a local pizza place. I was showing him a few things that were good. He then turns the menu to me and says that he couldn't see well and asked if I would read it to him. This is not normal. This is when I start thinking he might not be able to read and write well. I help him pick a pizza and place the order for him. I have to turn him down a few more times for food. He acts like I truly hurt his feelings.
The next night he comes up and is talking to me. I try to stay in the office as much as I can. He sits on the couch in the lobby and watches the T.V. and asked me to come sit with him. I turn him down telling him I have to work. As he was going to his room he tells me to call him and tell him "night night" after I get off work.
Thankfully we are busy the next night. He came up and said he waited up until 16 minutes after I had got off work. I told him I had to get home to my kids and husband. He left me alone for the rest of the night.
I was talking with some co-workers. He was asking for towels only from housekeeping until he realized that a young girl would be helping clean his room. He then wanted her to clean his tub and make his bed. He asked if he could watch.
When he checked in he was asked to initial his registration card. He said he didn't have initials. Again, sad.
The GM has left him messages to not bother us at the desk and harass us any more. Today he came up and was telling me he wanted something to do. He asked to talk with the "girl back there" (my boss who was busy.) She said she didn't want to talk to him and was loud saying so. He heard her and went away. He will be moving in to his temporary apartment in 3 days!
Update: The other girl that works the front desk says he talks to her about religion and God. And he hasn't checked his messages.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
The Cheek Pincher
We all have encountered at least one in our life time, but normally not after childhood, the Cheek Pincher. It is normally the little old lady that wears too much make up, always has hard candy in her purse and sits in the pew just behind you in church. You'd turn around and give her that silly grin to get a piece of candy.
Well for me it was a man maybe only 20 years older than me and today. I'm well past my childhood.
I was making small talk with the guest while they got their breakfast and coffee. One man was talking to himself about trying to find something. I asked him what he was looking for, and he said he couldn't remember at that point. He went on to say that once you get old that you go so fast you for get what you are doing. I joked back with him that I already do that, so there must not be much hope for me. He laugh and smiled, and then reached out and gave my cheek a pinch. I paused and tried not to allow my reflexes take over. I wanted to swat at him as if he was a bee buzzing around my watermelon. I quickly retreated into the kitchen and hid in the office.
He had his breakfast with his wife, but before leaving the lobby he came to the desk and gave me a $2.00 tip. I kinda feel like a cheap date now.
Well for me it was a man maybe only 20 years older than me and today. I'm well past my childhood.
I was making small talk with the guest while they got their breakfast and coffee. One man was talking to himself about trying to find something. I asked him what he was looking for, and he said he couldn't remember at that point. He went on to say that once you get old that you go so fast you for get what you are doing. I joked back with him that I already do that, so there must not be much hope for me. He laugh and smiled, and then reached out and gave my cheek a pinch. I paused and tried not to allow my reflexes take over. I wanted to swat at him as if he was a bee buzzing around my watermelon. I quickly retreated into the kitchen and hid in the office.
He had his breakfast with his wife, but before leaving the lobby he came to the desk and gave me a $2.00 tip. I kinda feel like a cheap date now.
By Popular Demand
As my friends hear more stories from my job at a hotel, the more they want to hear. It is like a train wreak where you will find everything from poop and... well we won't go there yet, but in the end you can't look away.
I've been working a front desk for a few years now. I've worked 3 different hotels. I've worked them as a Front Desk clerk, not worked them worked them. Perv.
I've met some really awesome people and made a few friends, but there are always a few that make you want to run away and hide under your bed until the sun comes up.
Some stories will be first hand, while others will be shared from what others tell me. You will laugh, cry and vow to never stay in another hotel room for the rest of your life. Oh, but you will, and when you do, you'll be checking a little closer to the details.
I've been working a front desk for a few years now. I've worked 3 different hotels. I've worked them as a Front Desk clerk, not worked them worked them. Perv.
I've met some really awesome people and made a few friends, but there are always a few that make you want to run away and hide under your bed until the sun comes up.
Some stories will be first hand, while others will be shared from what others tell me. You will laugh, cry and vow to never stay in another hotel room for the rest of your life. Oh, but you will, and when you do, you'll be checking a little closer to the details.
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